ANNIE TRITT PHOTOGRAPHY

reportage: Coming Home

Justin Pointer had just returned from Iraq, with the 82nd Airborne and was stationed at Fort Bragg, N.C., when he got a phone call from his mother, Wanda. She told him that she had lung cancer. He had recently been re-enlisted by the Army and was ordered to deploy to Afghanistan for 15 months. Justin was able to obtain a discharge in late April to move back to Richmond, CA, to take care of her.

When Wanda was diagnosed with the most serious stage of lung cancer in February, she had to stop working. By the time she was diagnosed, her lung cancer had metastasized -spread- to other organs, including the left side of her brain, her liver, kidneys and pancreas. Her doctor told her she had six to nine months to live without treatment and possibly one or more years with treatment.

Justin, an only child, took on the role of caregiver. Despite dealing with the emotional repercussions of his four years service in the war, Justin says he feels blessed. "She is my best friend and my hero," Justin says. "She raised me and sacrificed her whole life for me, anyone would do the same thing."

Justin, right , rubs the tufts of hair that are growing back on his mother’s head. The two had been arguing and had come to a resolution. Wanda was expressing her fears about death. "It's all about faith," Justin finally says. " If you trust God there is nothing to fear."
   
Wanda's shadow is reflected in the glass case that houses a portrait of Justin in uniform. "They were the hardest year's of my life," Wanda says. "It was terrible every time the door bell rang my heart would pound." Justin joined the army in May of 2001 to get money for college and for direction. His last day of AIT training was September 11, 2001. Justin was deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan and other locations with the Army's special operations, which included intelligence work. " They told us that day, many of you will die," Justin says. " I had no idea what I was getting myself into."
   
Wanda's weight had dropped significantly, by June, due to chemotherapy treatments and the tumor that was pressing on her stomach. Her first round did not work and she was trying a second. The doctors were concerned that she was getting too thin to continue with the full course, or to try a third type if this one was ineffective. Two days later they were given the news that the cancer had spread. The doctors however agreed to try a new drug with Wanda. Justin took full responsibility for getting her to appointments and organizing her medical needs. "She's a fighter," Justin said. "We're gonna beat this."
     
  
Justin and Wanda watch Farenheight 9/11 in their home in Oakland, CA. Wanda was eager for Justin to view the film, which she thought was very powerful, and was excited to watch it with him. Justin was unable to see the movie while enlisted. " I know that girl, "Justin said, when watching this scene. "I know that girl."
   
"I feel good today," Wanda says. She and Justin went out to eat with family and friends in-between church services. Wanda has eight living siblings most of whom are married, a huge community of church members and both she and Justin have a plethora of friends. There are people constantly in and out of the house checking on Wanda and giving Justin time to be by himself or hang out with his cousins. "Sometimes I want to be alone," Wanda says. "Since I have been sick I have had no time to myself." But more often she speaks of how blessed and loved she feels. Wanda and Justin are also known for laughter and this dinner is filled with it. Even on days she does not feel well, Justin will make her laugh or vice versa. "Quit faking," he'll say. " You just wanted me out of the army."
   
Justin applies a Fentanyl patch, which releases a constant flow of pain medicine through Wanda's system. The strength was raised, from 25, to 50 and finally this day to 100 mg, to help ease her pain. It was one of three pain relievers she was taking. The doctors wanted her to start on Morphine but she refused. It makes her feel groggy, she says, and wants to be present and alert. Justin kept track of her treatment and dose times because her chemotherapy therapy was making her forget things. Wanda says that one of the hardest things is depending on someone else for help. "I'm used to being extremely active, working 13 hours a day, doing carpentry and working in the yard," she said. "So its hard to let people do things for me."
     
  
Justin watches TV at 12 am one morning. After returning from his service in the Middle East, he has been unable to sleep for more than 2 hours most evenings. This is a common occurrence for returning soldiers. Justin says it is hard to get the images of war out of his head. Justin chooses to deal with this on his own and not turn to the VA for help. They just want to put you on drugs, Justin believes. His uncle, who is a pastor, and to whom Justin turns for guidance, told him to focus on God in these moments. “Sometimes I experience a sense of peace I never knew before," Justin says. He feels that all the challenges he faces in his life are leading him to be a better, stronger person. However, he does not discount what he has been through. "It's hard, its was terrible," Justin say's. "Nobody knows what its like,what I’'ve seen and done in the world. I grew so much as a person being in the Army, I became a man, but I lost so much more."
   
"I'm scared," Wanda says. "I want to feel I have faith but sometime I'm scared." Wanda's community of church, family and friends were a constant support for her and Justin. They provided spiritual, physical, financial and mental help to the two as they dealt with Wanda's illness and Justin's return from war.
   
Wanda collapses after trying to join her family for dinner at her brother's house. All eight of her siblings and their families were in Oakland to visit. Two weeks before they were to arrive Wanda expresses her concern that two weeks was a long time to wait. Soon after they arrived her health took a severe turn for the worse.
     
  
The Cornerstone Baptist Church was over filled with family, friends and coworkers celebrating the life of Wanda Pointer and sharing in each other’s grief. The church's tradition is to call the ceremony a "homecoming" as they feel the soul is returning to god. Justin was strong, during the service, comforting those who were crying, laughing with other about shared moments and taking a few moments alone.
   
Justin stands at his mothers coffin with Malcolm whom he considers a brother while his aunts look at a photo of Wanda during healthy times. Wanda passed away on Sept. 13, 2005. "Everyone keeps waiting for me to fall apart," Justin says. "But I won’'t." Justin was the comfort for so many who came to cry and mourn their loss.
   
Justin sits on what used to be his mother's bed. Several family members are staying with him while he makes decisions about his future. We are going to be with him till he can't stand us, one said. "She held strong," Justin says. " She was in so much pain in the end, I'm glad she is not suffering any more."